Friday, June 29, 2007

Profile: Jennifer Diane Reitz

A few days ago, a man with similar goals to my own uttered the words "[...I]t'd be child's play for me to turn this review of Pastel Defender Heliotrope into a big long mocking of how crazy JDR is."

So instead, I will. Someone has to have the credibility in this bigass drama mill.

Profile: "Jennifer Diane Reitz"
Actual Name: Technically, Jennifer Diane Reitz, nowadays. Birth name unknown.
Aliases: JDR, Creatrix, Aeala, Aealacreatrananda
Reason(s) Listed: Oh god, I can't even sum it up. This is going to be huge and it'll still fall short of the madness involved. Just read on.

Let's just hit the obvious points first. Jennifer (from here on shortened to "Jennie" because it makes me giggle) is a transsexual, post-surgery. That's not why she's here. There are some old shots of her floating around the net, and she looks haggard. If there's newer, I missed it, but frankly, I'm not here to make fun of her looks, either. No, let's just quit pussyfooting around and say it: the bitch is crazy. I don't honestly think the sphere of webcomics has anyone more insane than she is, and oh god, that's saying quite a bit. Let's lay out the backstory and see how much of this we can cram in, shall we?

The mid-90s were a weird time, internet-wise. If you were a gamer back then, and you needed information, there was no GameFAQs to rely on. Instead, the closest you got was Happypuppy.com (sadly deceased these days: we'll get to the why later), born in 1995, a site devoted to cheats and demo downloads, with the occasional link to another site that had guides or walkthroughs. This was something Jennie ran along with a spouse (one of three: also to be explained later... see, this is what I meant by "There's too much to cover"), and would do so for years. Sometime around... 2000 maybe? the domain was sold for an amount that I can't pin down, but every estimate I've seen has been a minimum of $1.4 million dollars, some going as high as $2.2 million. (Want to set us straight, Jennie?) Depending on the story you believe, either she blew it all on bad real estate (land in a town that's dying slowly, which would have been apparent if she'd ever taken a trip out to look at it... strangely, everyone she might sell it to seems to do just that, and refuses to), or spent it on a bigass haul of geeky shit. (Guess which is the official explanation from her mouth. C'mon. Guess.)

Really, that's all we can do to cover history, aside from bits and pieces I'll mention, so let's focus on the here and now. She's in a polyamorous relationship with three other people: her "family". Of the four of them, only one is known to work (the only male in the group, too. This actually makes sense. MORE LATER). Couldn't find the reasons for everyone else staying home, but Jennie's is that she has a horrible anxiety disorder that... keeps her from going to work. Convenient, that. Anyhow, she runs a variety of webcomics and has a hand in more than a couple of sites. Let's link a few, shall we, just to show the depths of insanity?

* Biography #1 - care of OtakuWorld.com, a site she's had some part in getting up and running. Just in case she decides to take out some of the more insane bits (I like the part where she says MENSA is too snotty, so she doesn't join), it's been backed up with WebCite. God, I love those guys.
* The Jenniverse - A central hub for damn near everything to be spawned by her alternating creativity and insanity. (As much as I'm bashing her, do realize there's some skill in there somewhere. Just, erm, look towards older works.)
* Transsexual.org - The Encyclopedia Dramatica of gender-dysphoria information. For every well-written piece in there on the topic, another 5 are poorly-handled or downright dangerous to someone confused in this sort of area. If there is one item of hers I could strike off the face of the internet (and possibly one item PERIOD I'd strike from the 'net), this would be it. I'll spare you the rant.
* Biography #2 - A different breed of insanity than the first one. Of note's a fun piece in the second paragraph. She calls herself a "hetaera", an old Greek term. The closest summary I can give is that she just put herself in the place of an escort, in modern terms: a step above the common prostitute, but still a whore in the midst of everything.

So what else have I got, then? Well, let's just add the delusions of grandeur.

This is what happens when the house breadwinner decides to do something other than cater to her whims. Apparently, she thought, at some point, that she needed a game to call her own, despite not programming it or anything. So her programmer husband, who, shock of shocks, didn't finish it instantly, would end up being berated via words put into his mouth. (Also fun: no less than three sources I've checked, two of them differing Japanese/English dictionaries, before I'm accused of bias, confirm that she's using "kokoro" improperly. Good god, woman, if I could take three minutes to look this up, why couldn't you?) Aaaaaand just before someone else decides to claim that that CAN'T be her art, no sir, it's not pretty enough, well, fuck off and eat crow. The woman herself admits to it.


Also a classic, here we see the "perfect body" of Jennie herself. Now, I don't know about you, but one might start wondering if there are some self-image issues when you're thinking of yourself as a shapeless blob. (Also, jesus fuck, that middle image on the right scares me every time.)

And oh god, this one's so recent, but so perfect. Okay, go over here. Read that. Now, see where she bitches about anonymous people? Yeah, the bit where she says that bad reviews can get you killed kinda stands out, to me. And so I make this statement, publicly, anonymity be damned: If you plan to kill me over this, at least warn me so I don't leave any credit card bills for family members. God only knows what people she hangs out with that criticism leads to a firing squad, but if that's the case, there'll be a fucking fatwa on me by morning for this. Hell, let's make it even more fun. To the first person who approaches me with intent to kill, I'll make it legal. Give me advance warning and I'll challenge you to a duel, in any place you can find where the law allows, all so that my death causes no hassle for you should I fall.

And look, I just set myself up for a fight to the death. Now, most people would think it's because I'm a stubborn prick, but no, in JDR's world, I did that because I have a prick. "Radical feminism" seems to describe her outlook on men, given a variety of statements she's made towards my gender over the years (shit, just use Google, I don't want to limit anyone on this one), but don't worry, ladies, you're not off the hook either, as your tits make your brains useless for science in Jennie-land. Yes, she takes what was once actual science and carries it to illogical extremes, and it shows through in so many of her works, causing me to wonder: with the aforementioned "perfect body", and her disdain for every gender, what exactly are we supposed to take away from her in terms of trying to portray a role-model for the gender-confused? Shit, I'm not even sure I'd ask her for advice on artistic matters, with the almost-schizophrenic stances on so much of what she discusses.

But perhaps I am wrong! Please, do correct my mistakes, should you be more knowledgeable than I. Or maybe the dear Creatrix herself would like to talk, and tell me where I went wrong? Any proof to the contrary can be left in the comments, or my e-mail, and I'll take heed so long as there's actual proof involved. (Telling me "Nuh-uh" will get a form letter. Seriously. I made some out of procrastination before actually doing research.) Tune in next time, when we cover a blast from the past, and tell some amusing stories to boot!

RELATED LINKS:
Note: I can't confirm shit on the following pages, so if it's wrong, treat it as one of those funny urban legends you hear about famous people, like Cher eating babies to keep her frail form together in old age.
* Encyclopedia Dramatica's article on Jennie
* Kokoro Wish, on Portal of Evil - a forum devoted to Jennie-watch

20 comments:

The Internet's Foremost said...

So I've been following JDR for basically ever (Well, like, three years), and some clarification/stuff:

JDR is actually the only member of the family who is intentionally eternally unemployed. Eldenath had a job until last month, when she was in a self-inflicted car wreck and subsequently fired. Sandra is some sort of radio technician, or was, and probably still works in some capacity at the radio station they're affiliated with.

JDR herself, in the long whining emo-journal-excerpts she posted shortly after Kokoro Wish imploded, cites the family as being "worth" 1.3 million--one would assume that's post-tax, but it's not specified.

I really do think JDR could be a series of articles unto herself--there's the background stuff, then there's the self-serving "I'm a skeptic but look at all the weird shit in my life, like how I totally resurrected my dog, not that I believe in magic or anything." stuff, and the millions of ways the government is out to get her and ruin her life, and the time she celebrated the Pope's death by telling everyone he sold poison gas to the Nazis for concentration camps, and backed it up with a crapload of misleading links. There's the stuff where she begged her fans for a new computer, and unlike most webcomic artists didn't come up with incentives for the donation, just whined and cojoled for money ($2,500 money, enough to buy like five computers more than sufficient for her needs.) There's a lot of asshattery around Kokoro Wish itself--her explaining how, despite a girlish inability to program, she'd devised the perfect game-base algorithm way back whenever, and her explanation of how things would work, with random physics and all. Then there are the more memorable smaller incidences--like when she decided smokers were incapable of being rational human beings, or that one time she explained at great length that putting a disclaimer on your webcomic was letting the Christian oppressors win (presumably because she doesn't have a job, and didn't understand the concept of work-safe and not.)

I look forward to more postings on other webcomic artists, since my knowledge basically begins and ends with JDR, but it feels like here you barely scratched the surface of the packaging of her overly abundant crazy.

The New Meat said...

Awesome first article! Good to see that you're really getting the true dirt here.

That "THIS IS MY KOKORO WISH" comic never fails to blow my mind, no matter how many times I see it.

LimbClock said...

Really nicely done entry :) although it debunks something about JDR, it is really nice to see that you were rational and civilised.

Now, i was wondering, if you could also do Tim Buckley?

Fletcher said...

The fuck? I didn't know anonymous comments were off. That's changed. Anyway, down to business:

internet's foremost: That is actually REALLY helpful. I've seen a lot of conflicting information on a few things and you've cleared some of them up. Also, I'm debating between a rewrite of this (as I've been told it's a little disjointed, and I agree) or just separate bits focusing on her various insanities (for example, I tried not to go into transsexual.org bits because I figured I'd make that den of hell a post unto itself).

new meat: Thanks. I'm trying not to settle for one or two things, and go as in-depth as possible. Odds are I won't be updating frequently, but I intend to make each target a damn good one for your troubles.

limbclock: Buckley is one of the 4 or 5 targets I'm currently researching. He's a nastier one due to large chunks of evidence being deleted, either by himself or by sites vanishing from the internet. I'm unsure the Wayback Machine can help me on this, so it's taking longer while I look for sources.

Tychomonger said...

Jennifer could be considered a breadwinner in some sense. Her various websites bring in money in the form of donations. She essentially provided for her own computer by gathering the donations from her fan base.

internet's foremost: With regards to her "Impossible Things", she claims to be in conflict with herself over those events. It is entirely possible to hold two completely conflicting beliefs, possibly through the same mechanism that allows suspension of disbelief when reading fiction. This may indeed be a form of insanity, but I think it is fairly common.

Anonymous said...

"Let's just hit the obvious points first. Jennifer (from here on shortened to "Jennie" because it makes me giggle) is a transsexual, post-surgery. That's not why she's here. There are some old shots of her floating around the net, and she looks haggard. If there's newer, I missed it, but frankly, I'm not here to make fun of her looks, either."

And with that, this blog comes out leagues ahead of the flamefest that is YWIBAYSFB. I don't actually know anything about her, though, so it still seems like you're being a bit harsh. Still, you source what you say without resorting to ad hominem insults, and you seem genuinely interested in taking all the available info into account.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is that even if I'm uneasy about the principle of what you're doing, I'm at least glad you're doing it right.

The Internet's Foremost said...

fletcher: I say go for the multiple, shorter, focused articles. I think JDR'd make good in-between filler, amongst other things. I mean, the revenge comic + the whiny diary thing (this is a back-up, the original vanished soon after POE discovered it) is a post on its own, then there's ts.org, and all the other stuff... The nice thing about JDR is that you can get most of the post-Kokoro Wish stuff right from the horse's mouth, since she never deletes her own forum posts.

tychomonger: I'm not sure how much of a breadwinner she can really claim to be. IIRC, the computer beg-bar replaced the usual PayPal button, spurred extra beyond-the-norm donation, and it still took like 9 months to raise $2,500. Even if that $2,500 was after subtracting bandwidth costs, it's still a ridiculously small sum of money for 9 months of work.

As for the Impossible Things strips, it's all in how you interpet it, I guess. I know you like her and her work, so you'd take things the good way. I am not a fan, and to me it's just more of her taking the most defensible stance possible ("My opinions are all rationally based! I believe nothing supernatural! BASED ON FACT! MUST BE RIGHT!"), while desperately trying to convince people she's really super-special and magic. She wants people to believe she's a powerful witch who slays demons, resurrects dogs, spins things with her mind, and danced around in the tail-end of a rainbow, and possibly was some all powerful God-being suffering a mundane life of punishment, but can't admit to believing that stuff herself, because that'd just make her look crazy.

Anonymous said...

This is just FYI the actual word for her out look on men is misandry.

The horror... the horror... said...

This article would have read better had I been able to bring myself to read the links you cited, but I just couldn't do it.

Mike said...

IMO the best thing she's ever done is that "star trek"-style comic she did when she was 8.

Anonymous said...

holy shit words nobody cares

Anonymous said...

I admit, I have some gender identity issues, and sadly, when I was younger and first had access to the internet unwatched, JDR's shit was what I first found to "help" me with my problem. JDR's site convinced me that I was transgendered, and the few emails I sent to her asking her questions were replied with in rants, where she railed about how awesome being a woman is, and how bad men are. Seeing as I was no older than eleven, I actually believed her bullshit, and it did nothing besides for make me feel trapped, as being able to define my so called problem, but not fix it, was frusterating.

Fast forward a few years, and here I am, realizing how full of shit JDR is and was, and thanking my lucky stars I didn't stay in contact with this crazy bitch, or actually act on her suggestions. I know now that I am obviously not transgendered, and only believed I was because of JDR's bullshit.

tl;dr version: JDR is a crazy bitch, made me think I was transgendered when I was a kid.

Anonymous said...

I think the main reason I don't like her, after all the other crazy stuff, is the harmful transgendered information. I'm transgendered myself, but back when I was just starting to figure this out on my own, I found her site.

Luckily I realized what bullshit she was when I took her "transgendered test". It was a few years ago, but I remember questions on it like "How feminine is your hair?" and "What kind of clothes do you wear?" and "What does an erection mean to you?".
Now, of course there were all the obvious answers that would give you a higher tranny score. But how do any of those have to do with how you identify with yourself? Pretty much none.

After reading about her, I really don't think she was ever a girl trapped in a boy's body. I think she's just a totally batshit insane person who has an irrational hate for males, but found out after getting a sex change that her idealized vision of women was false, leading her to hate everyone.

Gah. Luckily there are rational sites on the subject like TSroadmap, but, it still makes me angry she has the transsexual.org domain, leading almost anyone searching on the subject to find it.

Anonymous said...

You know what's really weird? I was listening to Type O Negative's cover of "Angry Inch" as I read this.

Alice said...

"Of note's a fun piece in the second paragraph. She calls herself a "hetaera", an old Greek term. The closest summary I can give is that she just put herself in the place of an escort, in modern terms: a step above the common prostitute, but still a whore in the midst of everything."

I've done a fair bit of reading on ancient religion. She mentioned praying to the moon, so she may mean this in the older sense of the word if she has some kind of neo-pagan beliefs. This is a very quick summary of a complicated subject, but in ancient Mediterranean culture priestesses practiced divine prostitution, worshipped a feminine deity and prostitutes/priestesses had very high social status, the terms were interchangeable. The words "holy" and "whore" come from the same root, "horae". So, she may be calling herself a priestess or a follower of goddess spirituality as praying to the moon would suggest. I don't know what her understanding of this is, but that would be my guess that she would have come across that term while looking up ancient religious terms. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with anything else, just saying she may have a different understanding of the word and may not have meant it in the way you took it.

Alice said...

Oh, for clarification's sake, she is using a term that was used in a later time period when the divine part of it had diminished somewhat, but the concept and related, similar terms are easy to come across. And it's easy to confuse terms from different time periods. This is ancient vs. very ancient.

Sorry, ancient culture is my thing, I just had to point this out. :P

Tony said...

I really can't pin this creature down. As far as I can tell, he's some kind of sick, self hating misogynist fetishist who really finds it sexy to be a woman, and, not being a transsexual or somebody who isn't a shut-in, he doesn't know how a woman thinks or behaves, and as such idealizes and portrays himself as, a female stereotype. I can see why there are so many people interested in him. He's a fascinating mess. A real confusing beast.

Fred said...

En garde?

Anonymous said...

I hope Unicorn Jelly came to JDR in a dream. It would explain why it's the only thing JDR's done that isn't completely 100% worthless cr-- well, let's not be impolite.

Anonymous said...

Look up Unicorn Jelly, starts out a little weird, descends into a psychotic gelatinous fetish-fest and has an entirely irrelevant ending. That shit scarred me for life.